Mic Drop: We’ve Launched and You Can Adult Easier Now

By Copywriter

What did you do this week? You probably went to work and did some yoga. Saw some friends, maybe had a couple of drinks. Walked your dog. Finally finished Stranger Things (noob). Perfected the long lost art of sleeping in.

That’s cute.

Us? Oh, no big deal. We went to the gym, lifted some weights. Saw a movie. Officially launched our platform. Tried being vegan for a day. Wait, what was that last one?

Oh, right. Boom.

We’ve officially launched! If ever there were a time for a mic drop, now would be it. Because our platform? Oof. It’s a game changer. And you have front row seats to it all.

But before we get into how we’re going to change your life with all our features, our innovative technology, and endless options, let’s talk about you.

You are 28, 29, maybe on the cusp of your 30’s, doing the whole 9-9 work grind, wondering if it’s time to buy night cream. You’re a grown-up living a grown-up life, navigating the ups and downs of being an adult as best you can while simultaneously trying to ignore the increasing reality that your parent’s generation left you with a society/environment/economy in disarray and absolutely no how-to-guide or tools to fix it. Literally, they threw you in a room with an unassembled IKEA bed frame, shouting “good luck, sucker”, and slammed the door.

Wrinkle city. You should probably start using that night cream.

You are busy. You are stressed. You have a million things to do at work and no time to do all the things you need to do after work, let alone the things you want to do after work (sob into your Poptarts while watching Seinfeld).

Ah, the Wonder Years.

Your life is filled to the brim with things to do. Between work, endless errands, meetings, catching up on all your Snapchat stories, and bills to pay, there is little time left to yourself. Life is busy. So are you.

To avoid the stress, wrinkles, and pleasantries of both, follow these simple instructions for life success.

Step 1: Create a NetCents account.

Step 2: Proceed to total world domination.

Because with the official launch of our platform, your life, while still filled with 9-9 grinds, Poptarts, and crippling self-doubt, is about to get ten times easier. When you sign up with our platform, you’re not just signing up for any other financial service. You’re signing up for a life that consists of less jaw clenching, brain-to-mouth delays, and more time to pick the right filter for that craft beer photo. Are you ready?

In no particular order, here’s a complete list of all the features that you’ll be able to access with our platform. Coolness included. Non-awkward conversations not guaranteed.

With our payments platform, you can choose how you want to pay. Because we know you. You like options as much as you like having a wide selection of flavoured Smirnoff vodka. Or, insert any other alcohol of your choice. You can load your NetCents account with money from bank account. Pay with your credit card. Pay with bitcoin.

Move, transfer, withdraw, purchase. Set up recurring payments for your bills so you don’t have to remember to remind Siri to do it for you.  Do it all in one place, anytime, instantly. No lines, no limitations, no terrible soft-rock waiting music from the 90’s in a cold, sterile room full of bank tellers. Just instant, secure, and transparent transactions.

Most other payment transaction companies typically are credit card based, which means that before you can purchase anything, you need to enter your credit card information into their website. That’s a digital record with your personal information leaving the safety of your hands and into the void of the internet. Fraught with fraudsters, identity theft, and wannabe YouTube celebrities.

With a NetCents transaction, your financial and personal information always stays within the protective realms of your financial institution. Every time you make a transaction, your safety and privacy are guaranteed – no personal information is ever divulged, no trace of your presence left behind.

Easily transfer money to your friends and family with our Peer-to-Peer option, anytime, anywhere. Maybe it’s the morning after and you need to settle your half of drinking your regrets away. Or maybe it’s at the dinner table right after dessert and you need to pay for your half before your one friend drops passive aggressive comments. We make that happen. Send your half of the bill in an instant; from your phone, from your tablet. On your bus commute home or in the breakfast aisle while you’re gathering more Poptart sustenance. It could be at 9:00 am or it could be at midnight on a Saturday; we’ll get it there and you won’t produce more wrinkles over it.

Buy and sell bitcoins of any value. Sell and trade them. Brag about them in the elevator loudly on the phone when your neighbours are in close proximity. Fool them all into thinking you’re a big shot fintech go-getter en-route to a fancy meeting. They don’t need to know you’re going home to order pizza (through our platform via bitcoin, no less) and watch Die Hard for the 19th time. We incorporate the innovative technology of blockchain into our platform to make all of your transactions with bitcoin and traditional fiat currency secure, transparent, and easy.

Sound cool? That’s because it is. And when you have a NetCents account, you can purchase, trade, and sell them. It’s a math-based currency whose value can’t be watered down by a central authority or governed by borders.

Shopping online? Easy. Pay however you want through your NetCents account. Credit card, digital currency, fiat currency.

Merchant? Fund verification occurs prior to the transaction. Which means the purchaser has already transferred their funds into their Netcents account, where funds are then verified. The transaction is not finalized if there are insufficient funds in your consumers NetCents account. Best of all? If you accept Bitcoin, no charge-backs!

See? We have your back. We know you’re busy and have a million things on your mind. We know that by the end of the day, all you are capable of doing is curling into the fetal position while you unplug from the world and mentally prepare yourself to do it all over again the next day.

And if you do manage to catch a break and find yourself out on a Thursday night, your brain needs to be coaxed into staying awake. So that when you’re handed the mashed potatoes at a dinner party and asked if you could hand them the salad, you don’t trip over your brain and say: “Hi. Yes, please. You, good. What? Cottage cheese.”

We can’t always be at your side to explain to others what your verbal garbage and synapse misfire means (if they haven’t shifted away from you already). But guaranteed, with NetCents, we make everything else infinitely easier.

 

 

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